From Chapter 10

From Doctor’s Diploma to Long-legged Stork

I storm into my hypnotherapy teacher’s clinic and slump into a chair by the door, panting like a race dog. My mind is on overload, running the ‘to do list’ for my upcoming business venture. I don’t even want to be here, but since I promised Dr. Cernie that I would attend her yearly automatic writing workshop, here I am.

“This is my favorite workshop,” Dr. Cernie is saying excitedly, passing around blank paper and pens. “You never know what will happen! Your subconscious mind is connected to the Universal Consciousness, which some people call God, you see.”

“No, I don’t see,” I think, sarcastically. “I know exactly what’s going to happen: Next month, I’m opening my holistic health center, going full speed – and nothing and no one can stop me!”

“So, this is how it works,” Dr. Cernie explains. “I’m going to hypnotize you, and while you’re in trance, your hand will automatically be writing messages from your subconscious mind. The information may come out as pictures, images or symbols.”

My stomach growls, I am so hungry. I doubt I can relax now, but as Dr. Cernie’s soothing voice begins the induction process, my hypnosis-prone mind gives in and I feel my muscles let go as I pleasantly sink into trance.

“As I count from ten to zero, your subconscious mind will open like a rosebud in spring, ready to convey its message through your hand and onto the paper… Five…” (My right index finger begins to flicker.) “Two… Impulses are surging from the inner mind into your brain… One… Your brain signals your hand to materialize them… And zero…”

The tip of my freshly-sharpened pencil touches the paper.

“Staying as deep as you are, begin drawing,” Dr. Cernie’s voice reaches me from a distance…

When I open my eyes, I am looking at a large, long-legged, long-necked wading bird with a stout bill belonging to the family of Ciconiidae, which, I am guessing, means “stork” in plain English. And all around this creature, my paper is covered with baby images ─ blankets, bottles, pacifiers, cradles, strollers and cribs.

This is so not happening, races through my head, as Dr. Cernie examines my art…

Eight weeks later, I am decorating my new office with balloons and promotional fliers, setting it up for the grand opening. As the clinic fills up with potential clients chatting with my staff of practitioners, I see Thelma, the computerized holistic body scan practitioner, approach my husband, Felix.

“Would you like a demo?” she asks.

Looking at me like a child being taken from his mommy, Felix follows her into a small room down the hall…

Ten minutes and five mini-bagels later, I spot Felix slowly walking out of Thelma’s office looking as if he’s seen a ghost – a whole family of them, in fact. Tactfully, Thelma stays in the room, peering out at us uncomfortably.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, licking cream cheese off my fingers.

Felix pulls me aside, whispering, “This energy scanner…” He stops abruptly, staring: “Why are you eating smoked salmon? You don’t even like it! ” he says in a panicky voice.

“I know, crazy, huh? I can’t help it!” I giggle.

“Katherine,” Felix’s eyes widen in terror, like a broker whose portfolio has just crashed, “the machine picked up in my energy system that WE ARE PREGNANT!”

With one finger still in my mouth, I freeze…

Next morning the blood test confirms it.